Everyone Needs A Little Weirdo

In 2011 we had three kids and completely done forming our little family. God had a very different plan for us and miraculously put a bun in the oven. Shamefully, I was devastated. The youngest was 4 and I was SO done having babies. Now, in my defense I had very rough pregnancies and my labors were pretty awful too. Plus, I was very sick and we didn’t yet know why. So we were scared that this mystery illness was going to kill me or the baby or maybe even both. But God, in all His hilarity, thought it was the perfect time to bring in a child.

Her pregnancy was as awful as suspected. I only left my bed to go to the bathroom. My husband had to help bathe me because the pain and weakness was so severe I couldn’t manage on my own. It was incredibly hard but definitely brought me closer to God!

Her birth was super dramatic, which now seeing her personality is of no surprise. This kid is a total weirdo!

She understood humor at, what I thought, was a very early age. She would laugh at jokes in movies way before the others did. She was witty and sarcastic the moment she started to speak.

One time when she was around 6 months we were driving in the van and our older daughter was in the far back seat. The baby was directly in front of her and facing her in the car seat. Well, the older girl (5 years) ended up getting sick and started projectile vomiting all over the van. Ewwwww! Well, our precious little weirdo starts belly laughing! She thinks it’s absolutely hysterical.

She is now 7 years old and still is just as witty. She says stuff all the time that just crack us up. She has these great facial expressions to go along with all her drama and wit. She also makes up words that we all end up using as if it’s now in good ol’ Webster.

Examples…..

Argusation– (noun) A word used to refer to someone who is having an argument conversation with another person.

Weeganwhile– (noun)  A small cart with a single wheel at the front and two supporting legs and two handles at the rear. (you may know it as a wheelbarrow)

Glamsation– (noun) A statement that is fancier then an ordinary explanation.

Hesicoat–  (noun) An optical instrument designed to make distant objects appear nearer.

Asktren– (verb) The process of asking a question.

She’s also a bit on the sassy side. Which I understand I should get under control immediately but it’s so hard when the things that come out of her mouth are so funny and she is after all the baby of the family. Don’t judge me!

Examples of sarcasm and sass…..

She tells her brother she is hungry. He says, “No you’re not.” She says, “(brother!) You literally don’t know my life!”

At age three she receives a gift from our very best friends. It’s a shirt from the place they had just visited. All the kids got one and were happy and grateful.  All the kids are reading the shirt and telling me what it says. She chimes in and says, “this shirt says, ‘This shirt is lame.” Thank God the friends weren’t around at this point!

One night I’m cooking dinner and she sees its chicken and decides she wont like it. She tells me that the doctor says she can’t have it because she’s allergic to it. She was three years old!!!

She wasn’t in our plans but in God’s and I’m so thankful. He knows better. She came into our lives when we were slowly watching me die. We were scared, depressed and lost. God looked at us and thought, this family needs a little weirdo. She was the exact thing we needed at that time. She brought life back into our home. God is merciful and will provide in our darkest hour. Sometimes what He is providing looks impossible. Sometimes it even looks like the very thing that will kill you. But He promises “those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30)

I will leave you with my baby girls wisest statement to date….

People shouldn’t call themselves dumb, unless their dumb. Then they should call themselves dumb.

 

A Flip Flop Life

When I get ready for a hot date with my hubby, I get my hair on point, my makeup on, and then slip into that great black dress that’s sure to make him have lustful thoughts of me all through dinner. I then go into my closet and scan over my collection of shoes, trying to find that perfect pair to top off the look. I know a pair of high heels would be like putting the icing on the cake but instead I have to settle for the lame, flat, black sandals. My circumstances through illness, don’t allow me to wear the high heels. I can try and suck it up. Put my feet in the heels, and suffer through the night. Leaving me in the end… a hot mess. Or I can wear the flat, sandals. The less glamorous choice. They may not be ideal for the look I’m going for. They may not be what I had planned but they are the shoes that will get me through the night. They are the shoes, that at the finish of the date, will leave me pain free and functioning.

We all have an idea of where we want our lives to go. We make plans for our future and get excited about them. None of those plans include illness or a death or a divorce. We would never add those things to our plans. Our plan will never include the things that will stretch us or make us uncomfortable. Our plans will never include struggle, pain, suffering…Our plans would leave us right where we are. Emotionally, spiritually. I’m so grateful I’m not the same Emilee I was at 20. 20 year old Emilee was more selfish with her time. She was more judgmental. She got out of control anxious when the house was messy and cluttered. She was angry and couldn’t let go of past hurts. She didn’t rely on God to solve her problems. She was way more insecure!

You know that verse in 1 Corinthians 12:12 that says, “there is one body, but it has many parts. But all it’s many parts make up one body. It is the same with Christ.” When I would read that verse I would think my friend Sherri is probably something cool, like the arm. It has all these uses and mobility and strength. And then my other friends Genie and JoAnn are like the elbows. The part the arm has to have to even be able to bend! But me… I’m probably the appendix. You know, the body part that you can remove and not really notice. Through illness and struggle, though, God has changed me. He’s healed many emotional wounds that were keeping me from true freedom. He was giving me truth in a world full of lies. This is never the plans I would have made for myself. Especially for my family. These plans were and are incredibly hard. They continually make me struggle. They cause lots of temper tantrums, rebellion, avoiding, despair, and then eventually surrender.

Oh! Side note, my husband had to get his appendix removed a few years ago and he’s kind of a weirdo with his body. Anyway, he seriously mourned the loss of his appendix and regrets getting it removed. He still feels like there was more he could have done to save it. How sweet is that? God gave me a man who values his appendix!

There’s a phrase I hear often that makes me very uncomfortable and that is, “God won’t give you more then you can handle.” This isn’t truth and it isn’t helpful. In fact I would say it can be detrimental. When your circumstances just flat out stink and you are in such despair, hearing ‘God won’t give you more then you can handle’ might make you feel like a failure or weak in your faith. 1 Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” In context, this verse is talking about temptation from sin, not suffering. Paul explains a trial too large for him to handle in 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 “For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us,” You WILL be given more then you can handle but we have a Father who will give us the strength that we don’t have. You have to depend on God to get through. Saying “God won’t give you more then you can handle,” keeps us focused on our self and our own strength. Realizing you are in a pit and can only survive on God’s strength, keeps God in His rightful place.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9 God says, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

Rely on God to get you through those unbearable times. You were never meant to “handle” it. When I finally quit my tantrums and surrender to God, I get to see the real treasure of God’s plans for my life.

I have two pairs of heels, that I’ve had sitting in my closet for 8 years. Untouched. I can’t let them go. Even though they are a constant reminder of my limitations. They sit there and taunt me. But I can’t get rid of them. I always think, maybe one day.

About 4 years ago I was out shopping and I saw these incredibly cute heels. They were adorable and could go with practically anything! I couldn’t help myself. I had to buy them, knowing I wasn’t going to be able to wear them. But I just thought, surely some day soon, I’ll be better and when I am, those are the shoes I’m wearing! 4 years later there they sat. Never worn, never shown off, never appreciated for how awesome they were.

My church was having a garage sale as a fundraiser to help send people over to Haiti. I went through my house finding things to get rid of. I got to my closet and saw my amazing shoes that never did get their well deserved debut. I took a deep breath and put them in the bag. 5 minutes later I took them out of the bag. I was struggling to let them go. I felt like I was giving up hope that I would never be well enough to wear them. And what if I am healed and those precious shoes were gone! I grabbed them back from the bag, whispered sweet nothings to them and apologized while putting them back in the closet and moved on. About 5 minutes later I returned to the closet and grabbed the stupid shoes that now had become my enemy and put them in the bag. I mourned the loss as I gathered more and more things, making the shoes fall further to the bottom.

I was trying to hold onto a past that was not my future. I’m not saying God won’t ever heal me. I know He has complete power and authority over my illness. But by not letting go of the shoes I was keeping myself in bondage to my limitations. If you have something in your life that keeps you from seeing God’s plans for you because it reminds you of what could have been or it brings up regret, guilt, shame, whatever, just get rid of it!

Hebrews 12:1 says: “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us…”

Those high heels were a weight. They no longer were something I was excited to one day wear but had now become a weight. A heavy load of why am I not better yet? I had to get rid of the weight and trust that God’s plan for me right now, is to wear flat, shoes! (insert crying face)

The Message Bible says this about Hebrews 12:1 and I really liked it:

“Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we’d better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves lagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!”

Isn’t that a great picture? Going over your story of where God has taken you will shoot adrenaline into your souls!!! It’s so true. God has done so much in our lives. We need to take note. Pay attention. Go over it. Share it. Let it motivate us to keep running the race. The path that God has set before us.

The next verse Hebrews 12:2 says:  “looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Jesus trusted the path set before Him by his Father. He stayed on that path and didn’t waiver.

I mentioned before that I had two pairs of heels that sat in the closet untouched for 8 years, before buying the third pair. Well, I do still have those two pairs. One, they are a much shorter heel so way more realistic. Second, they don’t make me sad. Probably because they are just average and not those amazing cute ones. I keep them because they are a goal but a goal that doesn’t leave me sad and hopeless. The adorable shoes made me sad every time I saw them. I had a choice. I really could hold onto them and torture my soul. We all have a choice. We can decide to be victims, We can quit, we can go against God, we can find our own paths. That is our choice. But it won’t take you to a place of healing and rest. It will keep you from true peace. God’s plan may look harder but it’s the very best plan for you. Proverbs 16:9 says: “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” And when you put that next to Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” You can trust His plan. He isn’t trying to harm you. He isn’t trying to make your path so miserable. He is strengthening you and refining you so you will have hope and a future.

My desire was a high heel life but God’s plan for me was a flip flop life. The flat flip flop life ended up being the blessing.

We have a good and loving Father. He calls you His child (John 1:12), His friend (John 15:15), He calls you justified (Romans 3:24), an heir (Romans 8:17), He calls you accepted (Romans 15:7), righteous (2 Corinthians 5:21), blameless (Ephesians 1:4), Redeemed (Ephesians 1:7), Sealed (Ephesians 1:13), a work of art (Ephesians 2:10) forgiven (1 John 1:9), He calls you greatly loved (Romans 5:8).

You can absolutely take the path He is leading you on. You don’t need to fear it and take your own “short cuts.” Walk boldly, the path set before you. In whatever shoes God has given you!

I’m deeply sorry for whatever struggle you may be going through right now and would love to pray for you. Leave a comment if you’d like prayer! Rest in God dear friend. He has a plan for you that is good!

Don’t let your christian walk be like wearing Spanx

As a christian woman I find it easy to show up at church on Sunday morning in my best dressed self. I smile kindly at everyone, ask how they are doing and offer any service I see fit. Then on the way home I get annoyed at the driver in front of me. I grumble at my child’s attitude. I complain about my needs or wants…. Once home I find it too easy to slip out of my Christ like attitude and into my ugly, non desirable, frumpy attitude.

Why does a woman squeeze all her fat into spanx? Well, because she’s going to look great in that slim fitted dress. She’s going to appear to the world that she is fit and fabulous. She’s hidden all her bumps, rolls, and flaws. The dress she would never have been caught dead in, is now a possibility because of the “false Advertisement” she is presenting.

As Christians we find ourselves wearing Spanx. We hide the ugly truth of our struggle with sin, with a cleverly designed facade. What would happen if we showed up without the Spanx on!!! People would see the roll of pride hang over our pants. They would notice the cellulite of deceit exposed through the loose fabric. Hidden beneath a thin surface would be the proof of the “labor pains” that life has brought on us. A Spanx free Christian life would look pretty unattractive and a bit obscene!

I believe that that is God’s desire for us though. To remove the Spanx and let it all hang loose. 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 was originally written as follows…. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in removing the Spanx.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly for my rolls, cellulite, and stretch marks, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am hanging loose, then I am strong.

Ok, so maybe that isn’t the original version but it’s still God inspired. We need to quit covering up all our flaws and expose our real selves to one another. We need to admit when our truths are a bit ugly and don’t make us look thinner. We need to be comfortable asking for prayer when our struggle consumes us. The false advertisement that Spanx offers is only rewarding for a short time but the inevitable undressing is just around the corner. We get home and real life struggles present themselves and the Spanx get removed and out comes pouring all the fat that you were desperately trying to hide. The fat that you knew was always there but you kept hidden.

If we could just be brave enough to not put the Spanx on and leave the house without the security of false fitness, then maybe we will be able to notice everyone is just as unbecoming.

James 5:16

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”

Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

When we keep our Spanx on and never reveal the jelly belly that lay within, we keep others insecure about their obvious shortcomings. They sit there admiring us for our flat stomachs, our smooth skin, our lack of love handles, shaming us way beyond our paint line. Only the truth is we suffer from the same afflictions.

If I were given the great honor of writing a Proverb for the Bible it would say,

A bulging waistline gives life to the flesh, but a Spanx swallowed reality causes others to undeservingly become envious. It’s much like Proverbs 14: 30, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” We shouldn’t be envious. I get that but by always keeping our flaws hidden we make it very hard on others to not be. We can easily cause others to stumble with envy, just by never revealing the truth of our weaknesses. So that’s why I’ve concluded that my Proverb should be added in!

Don’t let your Christian walk, be like wearing Spanx. Keep it real and let it all hang out! As for real Spanx and not the figurative ones I’ve been talking about, you should probably continue to wear those, they really do help.

Basically Right

I guess it’s only fitting that my first ever blog post be titled, “Basically Right.” Basically right is the same thing as saying, “close enough.” In high school I took a class called Families and Children. I was never an over-achiever, well… actually, who am I kidding, I was just never an achiever, so a class called Families and Children seemed like an easy A. I had a family and I was once a child! Piece of cake. The class was easy, up until finals. For a majority of the grade you had to have this doll that had a computer in it that tracked your parenting skills: if it cried too long, didn’t get fed in a timely manner, was neglected… blah blah blah. You had to have the doll over the weekend and then bring it back Monday to see how you did.

On Friday I took my precious little daughter home and introduced her to her grandparents. That evening she began to cry. I stuck the key in her (because that’s how you quiet a baby, after all) and nothing! She didn’t stop so, I twisted harder and broke the key. She continued to cry so I put her in the closet and stacked pillows on top of her until the sound was muffled enough to sleep through. Then I proceeded to sleep like a baby!

On Monday I brought my doll back to my teacher. I didn’t say anything and just hoped by some miracle the report made no notes of her untimely death or the neglect leading up to it.

I wasn’t so lucky… She called me up and asked what happened: why my doll was no longer active and why I only got through half a day! Needless to say I failed that section of the final and ended up with a C overall in the class. When I got that C I was thrilled. I thought for sure I failed the class. So, to me a C was close enough to an A! I’ll take it!!!

For the most part, I’m alright with being basically right, close enough or even “that’ll do” but when it comes to being a child of God, I knew I couldn’t die, approach God and say, “Well, I’m close enough, right?” It was all or nothing. He gets my whole heart. Every other part of my life can be basically right but not my salvation. Praise God He worked a miracle in me. I achieved the most precious gift. As far as I’m concerned I get an A. As for the rest of my life, well….